If the Torah Portion B’reishit is Shakespearean in its turbulent interplay of human and divine actions and reactions, the second Portion, Noach, is absolute Disney!
Presenting for your life long learning pleasure – “Noah, The (computer animated) Musical!” (or, as it’s been dubbed, “The original Singin’ in the Rain.”)
As the scene opens, God sadly surveys scenes of human corruption and violence which have tainted the world which only a few verses ago God had pronounced to be “Good.” Slowly, God’s sadness turns to disappointment, then rage. God resolves to destroy all life on land with the exception of Noah, Noah’s family, and pairs of land animals and birds. As the storm clouds gather and lightning flashes, Noah anxiously hammers away at the ark, muttering the measurements and directions God ordered. God points a divine Finger at Noah and sings the opening song, “I Choose You!”
Who’s sort of OK in this evil array? – It’s Noah!
Who’s kind of cool – not nearly as cruel? – It’s Noah!
Who’s not the worst of a bunch that is cursed? – It’s Noah!
Who shall I choose, while the others all lose? It’s Noah! Noah, I choose YOU!
Noah, his family, and pairs of really cute animals scramble on board the ark – lots of comic relief here. A monkey resembling the MC in “Cabaret” delivers one-liners, “A donkey, an elephant, and a kangaroo walk into an ark…”
Three furry critters dressed in evening wear play classical music a la “Titanic.”
When all are on board and the deluge begins, a charming duck leads all the Arksters in a huge song and dance number, “Noah’s Ark.”
Chorus:
Noah’s Ark is the place to be.
Not lost or tossed or sunk at sea.
For a lucky duck (or goat or guy or bear or mouse) like me.
Yes, Noah’s Ark is the surest, safest
Beats-an-oasis, very best place to be!
After days and days and days and days of rollicking, rainy adventures, the waters recede. The soggy passengers who, by now, have had enough of the ark, eagerly scan the skies for the dove’s return, singing “Where’s That Dove?”
Where is that dove? She isn’t above.
Is she stuck in the mire? Did her little wings tire?
Please, dove, find a space, a dry sunny place.
We don’t mean to complain, but we’ve had it with rain!
And Ark life is a pain!
Dove, come out of the haze and we’ll all sing your praise-
Oh, where’s that dove?!
Finally, the dove returns bearing the olive branch. All disembark and settle on land in a huge dance number. (Think “Chorus Line” with a cast of hundreds – some four-legged.)
God takes center stage in the grand finale,”God’s Promise.” Noah and family and animals gather ’round and sing along with God as a glorious special effects rainbow fills the screen.
The rainbow is God’s promise there won’t be another flood.
God will keep us safe and dry and we’ll try to be good.
The rainbow is a Covenant between God and earthly beings.
We’ll behave so well – What a story we’ll tell
Of the wonders that God brings.
Thunderous applause! Standing ovation!
Wait, did I mention the tie-ins?
Happy Meals prizes – “Aardvarks to Zebras, collect the whole set!”
Or the mobile app – “Get Those Angry Birds on Board!”
Or the sequel – “Occupy Earth!”
Torah Study is a genuine blockbuster!
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