I recently visited my 95 year old father who was hospitalized with heart problems and my mother who suffers from dementia. My home is 1000 miles away from the nursing facility where my parents live. As I’m a caregiver for my husband, travel is immensely difficult and visits to my parents are unfortunately brief and infrequent. I value every moment that we’re together. When I entered my father’s room and asked, “How are you doing?” he answered, “I think I’m at the end of the trail.” I tried to reassure him that the trail still had a way to go, and that everyday was worthwhile. I’m not sure he agreed. Once, my father loved to ski. He enjoyed fine food and travel. Now, he’s confined to a wheelchair. All of his food is pureed beyond recognition. His travels are limited to reluctant trips down the corridor to visit my mother, his wife of 71 years, who can’t always remember his name. I wish I could better their situation – restore strength, health, awareness, and optimism, but that is no longer possible. What can I do? As a Jewish educator, I speak glibly of life long learning. But, life long learning is inextricably bound to the joys and sorrows of life long living. I’ve spent decades helping my Judaic Studies students to relate Torah, prayers, and the wisdom of Jewish ritual and observance to their own lives. Now, I urgently needed to do the same. As my visit with my father came to an end, I asked him if I could recite with him the Healing Blessing (Rofeh Hacholim) and the Priestly Blessing which speaks of God’s comforting presence. He nodded, “Yes.” I held his hands, said the prayers, and gave him what I fervently hope was not a final hug. No lesson plans or teaching tips here – just my quiet observation that Torah, the Tree of Life, blooms fiercely and creates an oasis of peace, and perhaps understanding, even in the shadows at the end of the trail.
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