This past Shabbat’s Torah section, Be’ha’alotekha, includes the famous description of Moses’ singular virtue [Numbers 12.3]: “This man Moses was very humble, more than any other human being on the face of the earth.” If anyone could justify a little vanity, maybe it would be the man whose face glowed with light because he came so close to God at Sinai. Yet his lofty experiences showed Moses that it was not his greatness that made him radiant, but God’s.
Humility and modesty are classical virtues, very central to Jewish tradition, yet not so easily absorbed by modern Jews. Nowadays instead of modesty, we’re inclined to pump up the ego in pursuit of that elusive elixir … self-esteem.
But true self-esteem is not won by telling yourself, or your kids, that they are brilliant and talented. (Of course your kids are, but I am talking about most people.) Truth is, there will always be someone smarter and more beautiful, richer and better at sports. What happens to self-esteem when we realize that?
True self-esteem and self-acceptance is found not by telling yourself the incantation damn I’m good, but by attaching yourself to noble ends, more important than your own life. You’re going to die one day, and the world will go on without you. For a mortal human being to be great, as MLK said in his 1968 sermon on this theme (“the Drum Major Instinct”), you must serve what is beyond yourself. And this will make you noble and great.
Jewish tradition knows that to be a student of Moshe Rabbenu is to strive to be very humble. That doesn’t mean you should flagellate yourself and tell yourself that you’re a worthless nothing. Focusing on your failings will inevitably sap your ability to improve the world. That would be a distortion of true humility, which should inspire your devotion to what transcends your own mortal life, and therefore a moral failing. The very concept of mitzvot – that we are commanded to sacred action – assumes that you can in fact do great things.
But the catch is: this is not about you. Modesty is found in our acts of mesirut nefesh, self-sacrifice and commitment to what transcends our selves. And modesty is undermined by yuhara, ostentatious, attention-grabbing. As the Zohar says [3.168a]: “One who is small is great. One who is great is small.”
Anyway, to cut to the chase. When preparing for last week’s parasha, I looked up a famous Hasidic teaching on this theme, and discovered there is a little twist in the original teaching, which most people omit, and which I want to share with you.
A well-known teaching of Rabbi Simcha Bunam of Parshis’cha [1765-1827] runs: Each person should have two pockets, within which are written two messages. In one pocket you’ll find Genesis 18.27: “I am but dust and ashes,” while in the other you’ll find the Mishna (Sanhedrin 4.5): “For my sake the world was created.” Whenever you need to be reminded of what you’ve forgotten, your smallness or your greatness, you can just reach into your pocket.
As this teaching is reported in Siach Sarfei Kodesh [Polish Hasidica, collected in the early 20th century by R. Yoetz Kim Kaddish Rakatz] the editor makes a terrific emendation, cited to R. David of Lelov, a contemporary of R. Simcha Bunam: “The end of this teaching is missing. It is this: However, most people err, and reach into the wrong pocket, taking the opposite note from the one they really need. Understand this.” [vol. 3, p. 145, #29, ed. Bnai Brak, 1989].
An awesome observation. A virtuous human being is held in the dialectic between small and great, between modest in one’s self-regard and audacious in one’s moral and spiritual aspirations. But the trick is to know when to reach into which pocket. Not so easy. When you find yourself reaching for the note that reminds you how small you are, check again that you’re not trying to escape a demand for self-sacrifice. When you reach for the note that reminds you of your grandeur, check again if you’re not flattering yourself on the cheap.
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