This is the season of counting. We count how many more days of school, how many days until camp, how many more shabbat celebrations in our child’s current classroom, and how many more days we need to bundle our children in jackets before Spring emerges for good. It is also the season of counting in the Jewish calendar. There are 49 days between Passover and Shavuot and the tradition is to count these days, referred to as the “Omer,” each evening. We are told not only to count the number of days but also to translate this into weeks and days. So, for example, yesterday was the 20th day of the Omer, which was 2 weeks and 6 days. Why this tradition of counting? Why do we need to belabor this counting and to be so explicit about exactly where we are in this process?
Children often ask questions about space and time: How many more blocks to school? How much longer until we get to the airport? How many more carrots do I need to eat? How many more minutes of TV can they watch? How many days till my birthday? And again, how much longer till we get there? They ask and ask! And as adults it can feel like they have asked but a moment ago, and yet they ask again. Is this because they have a different sense of time and distance? Is this because they have less prior experience of what “an hour” or “a block” is? Is it a way for them to express their frustration or boredom without actually complaining? Or are these questions a mechanism for them to understand their world, just like most questions they ask?
There are probably many reasons why children count and quantify. But why does our Jewish tradition create this cycle for our community to count? One obvious answer is that we count as a way of expressing our excitement. The holiday of Shavuot is the festival that marks the time when the Israelites become a coherent and cohesive people. It is a celebration of Moses going up to Mount Sinai and returning with the Ten Commandments, the Torah, and many of the rules and regulations that continue to serve as the central source of our tradition. Maimonides points out that the counting of the Omer is suggestive of the anticipation felt by a person who expects his or her most intimate friend on a certain day. That person counts the days, and even the hours. Like our children who count down till camp (61 days, 12 hours and 7 minutes in my house!) or their birthday, we express our enthusiasm and focus our attention on the special time.
Another reason to count is to prepare. When we are pregnant and awaiting the birth of a child, we count weeks so that we can get ready. These weeks serve as cues: at 7 weeks we hear a heartbeat, at 12 weeks we may experience less morning sickness, at 24 weeks we do a glucose test, at 37 weeks the baby is considered full term. The counting helps us to pace ourselves so that at the moment of arrival we are prepared. Likewise, when Jews count the days of the Omer there is an expectation that there is some internal preparation taking place. We are being asked to consider the big implication of being “the people of the book.” And if you follow the Jewish tradition whether closely or more loosely, these weeks are a time to wrestle with our relationship to these laws and rules. Does Shabbat mean anything to you or to your family? Has it changed in the past year either because of a shift in you or a deeper connection that your child may experience towards this tradition? Do you like the relationship that you currently have to these ancient rituals? Is there some way in which you would like to extend your own personal or family relationship to any part of the tradition? I would like to suggest that perhaps the reason that there are seven weeks between Passover and Shavuot is that these questions are big ones. Considering our connection to our tradition and its laws and customs is not a small task and whether you are deeply involved on a daily basis with Jewish laws or only twice a year, the questions are always complicated. And as parents of young children, it is no doubt a dynamic time. Our children keep changing, our family life and rhythms keep changing, and if we are lucky, we remain somewhat alert and mindful of this shifting ground.
The holiday of Shavuot and the days of the Omer were originally deeply connected to the harvest season. In fact, the word “Omer” means sheaves of wheat. The Omer period coincides with the season when fruit ripened, and thus the fate of the season’s crops was determined. If we think of these next weeks as a time of ripening, a time when we come into fruition, we can see this season as a time of possibilities. This counting, this keeping track of time, can be seen as a period to focus our attention on our own ripening and the ripening of our children. We can easily see how our children bloom – they have grown so much over these past months and we have a few more weeks in this season. But we too have grown as people and as parents. The season ahead will no doubt bring new fruits. I would love to invite you all to enjoy the ripening, enjoy the developing, the unfolding, and the counting…
Shabbat Shalom,
Ilana
Ilana received her B.A. from Harvard College and a Master's Degree in Education from Bank Street College. She was born and raised on the Upper West Side of Manhattan and now lives there with her husband and three children.
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