Kings and queens, villains and heroes, beauty pageants and hangings – it is no surprise that the Purim story is compelling to our children! While we have many stories in our tradition with dramatic elements, our Purim story is the most like a fairy tale. In this story we have the quintessential fairy tale-like characters: First we have the independent queen Vashti, who is banished from the city of Shushan for her unwillingness to dance before the king and his drunken friends. Then we have Mordechai, one of our central heroes, who first saves the king from poisoning when he overhears that two of the king’s guards, Bigthan and Teresh, are plotting to kill the king, and later urges his orphan niece Queen Esther to bravely confront her husband by revealing her identity as a Jew. Acheshverosh is the foolish king who shows little leadership as he is easily swayed by the bad counsel of Haman. Esther, the brave queen, works from within the castle to save the Jews and then of course there is Haman, a mean and wicked man. Does this story not have the makings of a great fairy tale? And where is it set? In a walled city with a grand castle, no less. Perfect!
As a person who prefers realistic fiction, and small stories about ordinary lives, the Purim story is not an easy one for me. It has so many difficult characters and one needs to search to find the big ideas and values that resonate for our time. So why do the children love it so? Bruno Bettelheim in his work “Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales” looks at many of our traditional fairy tales (most notably the Grimm tales) and suggests that these stories, with their darkness of death, injuries, villains and trickery, allow children to grapple with their fears in remote and symbolic terms. If children can read these scary stories about people long long ago and far far away, they can interpret the stories in their own ways and attain a greater sense of mastery in their own lives. Through confronting these stories, they grow and are better prepared for their own futures – including the challenges and threats that may come. By hearing stories that feature threats but then success against great odds, children (and perhaps adults as well) gain a sense of hope that they too can survive and flourish.
The Purim story is one in which Jews are presented as a threatened minority. When I hear teachers tell the story I wonder: before preparing for this holiday, has it ever occurred to these children of the Upper West Side that Jews might be a minority? This story may be their first introduction to the idea that leaders might want to exert their power over the individual in inappropriate ways (in the story we tell, by Haman’s demand that the Jews bow down to him). It may be the first time that they hear that groups of people can be threatened (in the story we tell, Haman wants to “hurt” all of the Jews on a designated date.) I think for our children this story seems like something that happened only long ago and far away. And, of course, there are features of this story that are very old fashioned and outdated. But the possibility of perverted leadership, and the specter of minority groups being singled out are very much threats we face even today throughout our world and sometimes within our own country.
While the full complexity of these matters is not something that we can completely address with children at the age of 3 or 4, they are very much capable of beginning to grapple with aspects of these big ideas. First, beginning with our discussions around Martin Luther King Day we think about questions of minority status and rights. Children are interested in notions of fairness and can see the inherent conflict that arises when the needs of one group are seen to be more important than the needs of others.
The responsibility to stand up for what we believe in and express our ideas is another strongly rooted idea in our school. Children know that if someone is being mean, they are to tell them to stop. If someone is hurting them, a friend, or even a classroom pet, it is their responsibility to tell the person that this behavior is not right or to get an adult to help support them. The bravery of Vashti who said, ‘I don’t want to dance because it makes me uncomfortable,’ and then the bravery of Esther who saved the Jewish people from Haman’s evil decree are celebrated within our school and they serve as role models for all of us.
The notion that leadership is not perfect is another value that we emphasize in our school. We remind the children that adults make mistakes too. Teachers let the children know when they forget something, when they spill, when they get mixed up. We tell them that even their parents make mistakes! We want our children to trust us but we believe this comes not from their thinking that adults know everything or are infallible but rather from knowing we are human. And we don’t necessarily need to trust authority as a given. We want children to grow up with a healthy respect for authority but also with an open and critical mind towards their leaders, teachers, and parents so that they can grow to hopefully become more and better than we are. We certainly need them to strive for more if we want our world to become a better place.
And finally, I think children love and feel connected to the holiday of Purim because it is fun! Many of them love to get dressed up, to make believe, to eat hamentashen, and to enjoy the joyful spirit of this holiday.
I hope you enjoyed this week’s festivities and wIsh you all a joyous weekend ahead,
Ilana
Ilana received her B.A. from Harvard College and a Master's Degree in Education from Bank Street College. She was born and raised on the Upper West Side of Manhattan and now lives there with her husband and three children.
- Gratitude - October 31, 2014
- The Tower Of Babel - October 24, 2014
- The World Was Created For My Sake… I Am But Dust And Ashes - October 3, 2014