A Full Plate on Thanksgiving

Eat, Play, Love

Thanksgiving is among my favorite holidays – the simplicity of its message is clearly stated in its name. Gratitude is an element in many of our Jewish and secular celebrations but in none of them is the simple message of gratitude quite so distilled as it is for Thanksgiving. This year, having just experienced Hurricane Sandy, and seeing friends, families, and colleagues up close experiencing devastating loss, I am acutely aware of my rich bouquet of blessings. It is an embarrassment of riches to have been left so personally unscathed during this time.

I have heard many Upper Westsiders confess their “survivors guilt”, seeming unsure how to situate themselves when they feel they can only do so much in the wake of the storm. Others have expressed unrest, instability, and the feeling of being on edge – and with the Krim tragedy so quickly followed by Sandy, many were pointedly reminded of their existential vulnerability. And others still have expressed guilt or discomfort when they feel frustration, disappointment and other negative feelings, wondering, “How can I feel bad about my problems when others around us are experiencing more significant challenges?”

This Thanksgiving I am focusing on blessing my full plate. Rather than feeling guilty that my life is full of blessings, rather than feeling saddled by the complexity that comes from my very packed life, I am blessing its abundance. I am trying to center my energy long enough to notice – the privilege of juggling 3 children who have busy lives of their own, the privilege of having an intense job that I love, the privilege of calling bands and DJ’s to plan my daughter’s upcoming bat mitzvah. We don’t always get to choose the entrees and side dishes on our plate – some of the items that get served to us are indeed rotten. But hopefully, if we can savor those parts of our very full meals that are nourishing, we will be better positioned to tolerate and survive the harder parts, and be in a more gracious position to help the people around us.

I wish you all a season of plenty.

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Ilana Ruskay-Kidd

Ilana has been serving the Jewish educational community in New York City in multiple capacities for the past twelve years. Most recently, she served as the Director of The Saul and Carole Zabar Nursery School at the JCC in Manhattan. Prior to being named to this position in 2006, she worked at the JCC as Director of Young Families and then as Senior Director of Family Life, supervising programs serving families and children from birth to eighteen years old. Ilana began her teaching career at the Central Park East school in Harlem and went on to become a founding teacher at the Ella Baker School, an alternative public school in Manhattan. She then worked as an Early Childhood Curriculum Consultant for the Children's Aid Society where she developed curricula with directors and teachers in day care, Head Start and private nursery school programs throughout the city.

Ilana received her B.A. from Harvard College and a Master's Degree in Education from Bank Street College. She was born and raised on the Upper West Side of Manhattan and now lives there with her husband and three children.

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