Two Jews On The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies

Once upon a time there was a man named J. R. R. Tolkien, who created a magical, exciting world known as Middle Earth. We discovered this wondrous place, filled with dwarves, elves, dragons, hobbits, wizards, and some really bad creatures, through his four books: ‘The Hobbit’ and ‘The Lord Of The Rings’ trilogy.

Lucky for us, the books found their way to a creative genius named, Peter Jackson, who took us on adventure we’ll never forget.
Sadly, with this last film, ‘The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies’ this journey has come to end. But what a creative, imaginative journey it’s been.

‘The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies’ takes place 60 years before ‘The Lord of the Rings’

Here are the cliff notes without any spoilers:

The Dwarves of Erebor have reclaimed the vast wealth of their homeland known as The Lonely Mountain. Good right? Not so much. Seems the Dwarf King, Thorin Oakenshield (Richard Armitage has dragon fever. Which translated means…He’s becomes paranoid, delusional and in need of a really good anti-depressant. Even his friend Bilbo (Martin Freeman) who, in case you don’t remember from the last film, has accompanied the Dwarves on their journey, can’t get through to him. Unfortunately, Thorin’s mental state isn’t the only problem. Seems the Dwarves have inadvertently unleashed the terrifying, fire breathing and very talkative dragon, Smaug (Benedict Cumberbatch who wants to destroy anything and anyone in his path. This is a dragon with major anger issues. The first thing he does, is wipe out most of the men, women and children of Lake-Town. Luckily, a few manage to escape, including the very hot Bard (Luke Evans). At the same time all this is going on, we cut to our favorite wizard, Gandalf (Ian McKellen) who’s been imprisoned by Sauron, the Dark Lord. Good thing Gandalf has friends…And they happen to be sword wheeling, ass kicking elves…aka Elf Queen Galadriel (Cate Blanchett) and the mighty Elvenking Elrond (Hugh Weaving) to help him out.

On top of all this and most important, Sauron, the aforementioned, Dark Lord, has gathered an army of some really ugly Orcs and they are about to descend upon the Lonely Mountain, in order to engulf all of Middle-earth in darkness.. So now, the Dwarves, Elves and Men must decide to unite or be destroyed.

Of course, there’s more…much more, and you’ll just have to go see, ‘The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies’ which opens in theatres, Wednesday December 17, to find out what they are.
Most of the cast is back, including Evangeline Lilly, Lee Pace, Orlando Bloom, Stephen Fry, as well as many new ones.

I gave this film 5 bagels out of 5. I absolutely loved it and you will to. Check out the video to see my own little Middle Earth type creature and for more of my ramblings.

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Joan and John Schwartz

Joan and John Schwartz are ex New Yorkers, living in Los Angeles. They are married and see a lot of films. They usually disagree but always tell it like it is. John is most famous for creating the cult classic films Faces of Death. He has also written for various prime time series and has written movies for both Showtime and HBO. In the world of reality television John has produced, written and directed over 450 segments for various magazine shows He has also written and Executive Produced several Prime-Time Specials. Joan has appeared on the New York Stage on and off Broadway…and has been in several Los Angeles theater productions as well.. Joan has been in several low budget films and at present she is busy writing screenplays with her husband, John.

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